A big fat fatty

Last night I went to my friend Jake's dance class and realized something I've always known, have even said many times before, but never really truly accepted (I thought in the right environment I might excel)- I am a terrible dancer. After watching myself in the mirrors that were oh so conveniently placed on every single wall, I now know what I look like when I "break it down." And that was me sober. I highly doubt that after I've had a few or 10 drinks I suddenly have rhythm...I'm just drunk so I think I do. Confidence in a bottle, gotta love it.

He's bleeping huge!
This reminds me of one time on Conan (I didn't see it, but Emily told me about it and I laughed) when he was doing the "if this person and this person had a baby" thing and they put a picture of Giselle and Leonardo on the screen and you could tell Conan had yet to see the picture b/c he was visibly stunned by Leonardo's fattness in it and then he quipped "Maybe he's preparing for a role in his next film- A big fat fatty." It might have been the way he said it that was so funny b/c as I re-read this I'm realizing it doesn't transfer well. I know at least Emily and Ashley are laughing at this so I'm not alone.

I love how people refer to gossip they hear about celebrities as if they've heard if from a friend...and not a friend who just finished reading In Touch. One of my co-workers was just talking about the Brangelina (Take that Bennifer!) sexcapade in Africa as if she'd just received a call from a guard standing outside their door.
"Hey Susie*, it's me George the guard. You won't believe this but I'm standing outside Brad and Angelina's room and they are having the craziest wild animal sex! No, I swear. One of the other guards thought she was being tortured and rushed into the room with his weapon drawn...he was sooooo embarassed! Oh, gotta go- Brad wants an Evian." (*name has been changed so as not to piss off my coworker should she ever stumble upon this site)

Last Days
I f*cking love Micheal Pitt. I loved him in Hedwig and I'm sure I'll love him in this. But I haven't seen The Dreamers even though I want to but I'm sure I'll hate it b/c it looks pretentious but on a really immature level I just want to see his full frontal.

Reason #687 why I hate being poor- because I miss things like this.

Happy Birthday Topanga!

I'm still getting emails for cabana boy applicants. It's going past funny and into annoying. But then I got a picture of some dude's penis emailed to me and it made me laugh again.
R.